This week, in review.

Sunday- Dropped Lucy off at the airport. Looked kind of like this, only with sad faces:

Monday- Woke up, went downstairs, remembered that Lucy was gone, and got a little bit sad all over again. Bucked up quickly though, and went on about my day.

Tuesday- Found out that not only are my parents leaving the area (They are currently about 5 min. down the road from us), they're going to Pennsylvania, and want us to go with them. This is NOT happenening. If they want to go, I'm thrilled for them. I however, will NOT be joining them.

Wednesday- Made said parents a Very Yummy Dinner and worked up four different invitation options for the planning event Thursday night for my grandmother's surprise 75th birthday party. It felt good to actually put some of the thousands of dollars worth of scrapbook/card making supplies to use.

Thursday- I should have just stayed in bed. From the moment I got up, everyone and everything was wrong. I had a very strong urge to punch a stock boy at the grocery store, because he was in my way, and wouldn't move. I didn't punch him. I feel like there's some measure of growth there, since I controlled the urge. I got angry with Jake for not going to bed when he was supposed to, thus messing up my routine/plans for the day. He reminded me that it was Thursday, and therefore his day off. I cried. It didn't get any better after that.

Friday- I had to set my alarm to wake up early, because we had to help a friend move. So, I didn't sleep on Thursday, because I knew my alarm was set for the morning. The kids were easy to feed, dress, and get to my mother's for babysitting while we helped with the move. We got there, and got started. I knew it would be hectic, so I took an anxiety pill before I got out of the car. All was fine, until we got to the new place, and there were FIVE men there that I'd never met. That made 11 people standing around in the cold, in a Very Small Apartment, while the people moving in tried to get their heads out of their butts and decide what was going where. I don't do well with new people (when they're sprung on me). I don't do well with small spaces. I don't do well with chaos. I wasn't doing well. Jake kept touching me, which was just making it worse. When I start to have an episode, I need space. I need to be left to myself. I need to not be touched. He kept touching me, because there were men around who hadn't met me, and he needed to "claim his territory", I suppose. If it had all been people I know well, I could have said "I need a break." or "I need to walk away." or "I need to go home." But they weren't, and I couldn't. We skipped breakfast because of how early we were starting. We worked through lunch. By the time we were done, it was too late to eat lunch, because we were going to Jake's parent's for dinner. We went home, and I jumped into the shower quickly to get the grime of moving off of me. Jake jumped in too, proceeding to scare the bejezus out of me. To the point that I screamed, and fell. :( Which, of course, caused me to cry. Then, I went to my mom's to get the girls, and found out that one had drawn all over my mother's brand new sofa, and the other had used a sharpie on the dry erase board. Ugh. We went to his parent's house, where he proceeded to ignore me. Then, during dinner, he opened a brand new bottle of soda, and dropped it, spilling it all. over. my. clothes. I had to wear my mother-in-law's clothes home. She's three sizes bigger than I am. Then we got home, put the girls to bed, and he fell asleep. :( I spent the next hour and a half crying because my mother wasn't answering her phone and I wanted to talk to her.

Saturday (today)- went to Target to buy Maddy a belt. It came in a two pack, and she informed me that the pink one was ugly. The girls watched with fascination while I did my hair, which was sort of cute. The girls and I went with my parents to visit my brother at school, so that they could explain to him in more detail what the move would mean for him. We went to Chuck E Cheese's. I HATE, with the passion of a thousand firey hells, Chuck E. Cheese's. I left there with a migraine. From there, we went to Joann's where I found cute kid colored sock yarn to make socks for the girls, and some pretty cotton/corn yarn to make faceclothes out of. Then to TGIFriday for lunch. First thing after we sat down? Laura knocked a pepper shaker onto the floor, shattering it. Then, she insisted on using the bathroom three times, even though she NEVER wants to go to the restroom in public. I finally got to eat half of my food after it was cold. I say half, because the girls didn't want to order anything, because they'd gotten pizza at "The Devil's Playground" and said they were full. Yet, when MY food came, they magically wanted what I had, and proceeded to put their hands all over my food and plate. I salvaged what they hadn't touched. Now don't get me wrong. I have no problem sharing food. But do NOT touch my plate, and do NOT touch my food. Ask, and I will gladly give you some on a seperate plate. But if it gets touched? No. I will no longer eat it. Is this stupid? Probably. Doesn't mean it changes it at all.

So where does this leave me? This leaves me with all the signs of a downward spiral. This will end one of two ways: 24 complete hours of solitude without anyone or anything messing with me, so that I can reset myself; or hospitalization. It's a sad truth, but it's mine.